SPRING!

In my books, today goes down as the first day of spring.

It was a blowing bubbles, sidewalk chalk, jump rope, take-a-walk kinda day.

And it was lovely.

Sammy's chalk drawing of the stable with Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus.  Then on the sides are angels and a wise man.   Love.

Micah's first time jump roping!  He loved it!

I don't know that I have jump roped for over 15 years, but it was so fun today!  I even jumped in with my hubby and we had the two-jumping-in-one-rope thing going on.  Laughter is so good. 

My beautiful sis-in-law, whom Ella adores.

Today was a reminder that sunshine and beautiful weather really are good for the soul.  So refreshing.  Soaked up the day with family and loved it all!  So happy it is SPRING!

Thankful Thursday

So I unintentionally have been on a break from blogging this past week...too busy living, I guess.

Nothing incredibly new or different, but lots of full days of activities and relationships and such.  And I am happy.

Last week, I had my kids participate in Thankful Thursday and tell me all their gifts for that day, and then I never got to posting my own gifts!  So here are their thankfuls from last week...

Sammy's Gifts...
I'm thankful for Daddy, Mommy, Sophia, Sammy, pretzels, that I'm four now!, Micah, God, Ella, Lydia and Luke, Chuck, that I get to play Mario, that I play with the castle and I get to save someone new, that we have a bunch of Legos, that we have a lot of Matt Christopher books and Magic Treehouse books, that I'm Big Boy Hulk.

Ella's Gifts...
I'm thankful for Daddy, Ella, Sammy, Micah, Princess, my friend Teddy, Sophia, Mommy, and dancing.

Micah's Gifts...
I'm thankful for a heart, that I got lots of tickets at Chuck E. Cheese, that I can't do a backflip because it's kind of dangerous, family, friends, Sammy's toy castle, that Sammy and Ella love to play together, Mario,  Matt Christopher books and Magic Treehouse books, that Sammy likes the knight game and wants to play it with me, that Daddy's cool, that we're going to Michigan tomorrow, that we're not homeless and helpless, and that we have lots of Bibles.

I love hearing what they come up with and love watching their little minds think.


Today, I am thankful for all of the people in our lives.  Our lives are rich and full.  And I'm thankful that we've had some sweet times with lots of these folks in our lives lately.

Celebrating good news of a new job and a successful exam with our small group...

Being completely spoiled by having a dear, family friend, Arden, over for the day as a "mother's helper."  It was SO fun.  We did a craft and she helped me in getting things done and playing with the children while I had some writing time.  She even found my broom and started sweeping the floor after lunch!!!!  Amazing, right?  What a blessing.

Arden's family came over for dinner last week, and it was such a fun time!  Here is a pic of all TEN children around the table eating dinner together.  SO fun!

My amazing sister starred as the narrator in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  We brought our three big kids and we all LOVED it.  My sister is incredibly talented AND gorgeous!  Way to go, Anj!

The kids and I got to have lunch with two of my girlfriends from college, who I traveled abroad with one semester, and it was so good to see them after several years!!!  What a treat!

Today we had a playdate with our homeschooling buddies.  I don't know what I would do without my friend, Jen.  We do monthly field trips together, our kids get along great, and we are in a book study together, too, where we have grown closer and deeper in our friendship over the years.  Today, I left feeling so blessed to have a friend that I am so comfortable with, who lets my baby go through her cupboards, who feeds us all lunch, and who I can talk with for hours and still have more to say.  The kids made a cute Easter craft of Jesus's empty tomb, and I loved that they put their hands to making something that had to do with the meaning of Easter, each of them writing, HE IS RISEN on the bottom!  Beautiful!

I am thankful for daffodils on my kitchen table, a gift from a generous woman in our small group.  They literally bloomed overnight, and I literally feel happy looking at them.  What a beautiful sign of spring and life and new beginnings.

I am thankful for having a break this week from school, leaving time to play with dear friends and snuggle up together on the couch for movies and reading books.  

I am thankful for all of Sophia's new words...she is in the most precious stage, copying everything we say and do, clapping, dancing, smiling, giggling, delighting in life as only a baby can.  

I am thankful for Ella's sweet voice that rings with JOY all throughout my day.  I could never tire of hearing that girl's voice.

I am thankful for Sammy's smile and his sweet spirit.  Turning four seemed to give him a fresh boost of energy and love for life.  He seems to be enjoying himself more and more these days.  What a gift!

I am thankful for Micah's mind developing and growing each day, constantly mulling over new thoughts and words and ideas, and I am thankful for the thoughts he lets me into.  His thoughts are refreshing and powerful.

I am excited about the holiday weekend, and I am hoping that as you are reading this, you are knowing that Easter encompasses everything that we live and breathe and believe.  Jesus willingly died for the shortcomings of you and me, and through his redemption on the cross, through his blood and sacrifice, we can have life overflowing in the here and now, and life eternal one day in heaven.  This is the exact truth that gives us purpose and meaning and hope.  The joy and the life and love that we can embrace and experience are all from this moment on the cross.  I pray you will know this truth today...for the truth will set you free!

Happy Easter!

No More Perfect Moms

Do you ever look at another mom and wonder how they are doing what they're doing?  Does it ever seem like everyone around you has it all together?  Do they seem to look perfect, always have clean houses, wear size 2 jeans, never yell at their kids, always do cute crafts, always baking and cooking from scratch for their families?

Well, this past weekend, I had the privilege of attending the national Hearts at Home conference with this very theme of perfection at its core.  It is a conference to encourage and equip moms in their most sacred role as mother.  And that is exactly what it was to me...such an encouragement in my marriage and my mothering.  

The most powerful session for me came from the founder and head of Hearts at Home, Jill Savage.  The whole theme was "No More Perfect Moms," and she encouraged us to set realistic expectations, to be honest with our own failures, and to stop comparing ourselves to others.  She urged us to stop pursuing "perfect."  She challenged us to give ourselves and other people the freedom to fail and make mistakes.  Because when we are in such search of perfection, and IMPERFECT shows up, we don't know what to do with it!  (And we often don't respond well!)

She says the following:

If we expect life to be imperfect, messy, and sometimes challenging, we will not hide our reality from others because we won't feel like we've failed.

If we expect failures and mistakes, we won't be so disappointed.

If we are pursuing perfect, and imperfect happens, we respond with anger, shame, and unforgiveness.  What if we replaced being perfect with being perfected?

She goes on to say that if we are pursuing being perfected instead, we can offer others love, forgiveness, and grace.

Jill calls this dangerous trap we find ourselves in the "perfection infection."  When we start looking through this lens, it can became a problem.  We start to feel like a failure.  So what if we took off our masks and were honest with others?  Maybe others would be more open to share their "stuff" if you share yours?  "Honesty begets honesty," Jill says.  When we are able to take off our masks, it helps others and brings freedom.  And don't we all long for that freedom??  The freedom that is found in Jesus Christ?  Well, he offers us freedom in authenticity...and THAT is when we can experience contentment.

In an effort to encourage others towards authenticity, so freedom and contentment can abound, I want to share with you a picture into my world, as Jill Savage so openly did with hers.  She showed pictures of each of her family members and talked about what is behind the pictures, behind the smiling faces, behind the perfect outsides.  She was honest in showing the imperfect insides, and I admired her deeply for her courage to do so.  So here is our family...and our imperfections.  (Now, my children are all still little and are experiencing normal, childhood struggles, but I still want to share.  I believe that as we practice taking off our masks now, it will become a habit for us as we move forward in life.)

What you see here is my baby girl who just turned one.  She is happy and sweet and the cutest baby you have ever seen.  And she IS.  She seems quite content with her little world.  But what you don't see is her lack of sleeping through the night, her habit of nursing when she wakes up, and our default of co-sleeping because we are too tired to know to move her back to her crib.  What you also don't see is her propensity to colds and ear infections, which means she has spent many, many days just wanting to be held.

What you see here is the most happy and precious and vivacious of two-year-olds, thrilled to the bone with the joy of life.  And she IS.  This girl loves life like no other.  But what you don't see is her smacking her brother at 6:00 this morning, saying "NOT sorry!" when I asked her to apologize.  What you don't see are her constant messes and destructive endeavors (can you say markers on my couch, table, and lamp?).  She is willful and stubborn and so independent.  She goes into her crib daily for time outs, and she is learning to be obedient and kind.

What you see here is an adorable, happy four year old, complete with the bluest of eyes and the most charming of smiles.  And he IS!  He is happy and charming and smart!  He loves his little world.  But what you don't see are his meltdowns when life is hard and when he is asked to pick up toys, a sometimes constant state of being overtired from waking up too early, a general lack of compliance, and a tendency to chase his sister through the house in order to snatch a toy he wants.

What you see here is my oldest son, happy with life and a brilliant little intellect.  And he IS.  He is happy and brilliant and so very kind.  What you don't see is that he can stomp away in anger when life doesn't go his way, throwing a little 6-year-old-fit.  He can be mean to his brother.  He can have the hardest time focusing on a simple task he has been asked to do.  Getting dressed can take this kid twenty minutes.

What you see here is a mom, happy with her stay-at-home wife and mom-to-four role.  And I AM!  I am so happy, and I love my life.  But that does not mean I have got it all together.  What you don't see is that sometimes I feel like I am fourteen, hurting when I feel left out or think someone doesn't like me or have time for me.  What you don't see are stretch marks and extra baby weight.  What you don't see is me putting my kids' bagels on paper towels at breakfast so we have less dishes to wash.  What you don't see is that I am praying daily for more patience with my children, as I have gotten in the destructive pattern of yelling at them when they are not listening to me.  What you don't see is that every once in awhile, when I am so tired and worn out and feel the demands of life weighing on me, I just have a good, long cry.

What you see here is a man enjoying life and doing an amazing job fathering his four children and being husband to me...and he IS!  He is doing amazing, and he is happy.  But what you don't see is that he has struggled on and off through the years with clinical depression and anxiety.  He daily takes medication so he can be himself, and he has spent hours and hours in counseling and deliverance sessions, seeking healing from past hurts and patterns of thinking.

Now, please hear me on this, I do not say these things to complain about my children or to portray our lives in a negative light.  I love my family, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  And I am ever-learning to welcome and expect my children's mess ups so I can teach them and train them under my care.  But I do share these things for the FREEDOM of authenticity, for the power of HONESTY and AWARENESS that we do NOT have it all together.  There are NO perfect moms.  And we have GOT to start living in the truth and freedom that this brings!

Are you struggling with this "perfection infection?"  What masks could you take off?  Can you adjust the expectations of yourself (and of others!) so they are realistic?  Can you boldly step out into honesty in order to experience more freedom and to offer others that gift?  Would you even dare to comment below on what makes you an imperfect mom?  You are safe here.

There are NO perfect moms.

Weekend Thankfuls

This was a weekend of nonstop fun!
Here are pictures of some weekend blessings.
I love weekends...but how could I not?
So thankful.

Playdate with dear friends, including cousins visiting from Michigan!  Yay!

Grandma and Grandpa visiting from Minnesota

Daddy snuggles

Dance party

Setting up the nativity set Grandma and Grandpa brought back from Haiti

Plates Grandma brought for the kids to decorate and bake

Girl cousins at my sweet niece's 4th birthday party

Sammy and Micah enthralled with Mario wall decals Sammy got for his birthday

My Sophia

Such a fun party at McDonalds!

My mom, sister, and two of my nephews

Sophia finding a  nice pillow in Papa for a snooze during the party

My girls...

Sammy is FOUR!

My sweet, loving, silly Sammy turned FOUR today.  We have been counting down the days for the last couple of weeks, and the day was finally here!  Sammy picked out exactly what he wanted for birthday breakfast (cinnamon rolls, sausage, and hashbrowns) and we celebrated with family and friends at a little McDonalds party for lunch (again, exactly what he wanted!).  He loved it all.  I was so excited to celebrate my second son today.  He is so precious and special to me in so many ways!  

Samuel Alan, you have captured my heart with your smile.  It is amazingly contagious and melts every heart.  You are such a sweet boy.  You love your siblings sooooo much.  You and Micah are the best of buds...you do everything together.  In fact, I like to tease that you have "codependent" tendencies with Micah.  You just want to be with him and be like him in every way.  It is precious.  I know I am safe with two superheroes in the house, fighting away every bad guy that tries to attack!

You and Ella are such good buds, although you definitely butt heads more often, being so close in age and each of you being in that fight-for-independence stage, too.  But you two love to be silly and laugh together, and you dance and play and chat together about little things.  And you adore Sophia.  It is so precious to see how much you love to kiss her, hold her, and make her smile.  She adores you, too.  We call you "the S's," and you both look so much alike!!!  She is a mini-you!

Sammers, we also joke that you are the "class clown" of the family.  Although you are often so quiet and more reserved when we are out and about, you are such a little comedian at home!  You love to be silly and make everyone laugh.  And you do!!!  We love to laugh with you!!

My precious son, you are brilliant.  I will take the liberty today of giving myself mama bragging rights...Daddy and I are amazed at how smart your little mind is.  You know the location of every single one of the fifty United States, and you can identify each state's shape, also.  You are learning the capitals, and you already know so many!  You are also starting to tell time, and I know that you are going to love the new watch Auntie Kim got you for your birthday!  You love numbers and order and sequencing.  You page through the calendar over and over, memorizing the days, months, and years.  You know how many days are in each month, and you LOVE to be in charge of our magnetic calendar of activities.  

You love bagels, noodles, vegetables, computer games, Mario, Sammy-chocolate (dairy-free), search-and-find books, legos, the library, the Backyardigans, family movie nights, tacos, hamburgers, and more books!!!  You look at books all of the time.  You will be reading really soon!  You wake up early, ready to start your day!  You love routine, you don't love to move quickly, and you need about a dozen reminders each morning to eat your vitamins and drink your water with probiotics.  You live at your own pace and on your own time.  

You are full of life, and we love you SO much, Sammy!  You are Mommy's precious boy, and I am so, so so happy that I get to be your mama.  May you have SO much fun being FOUR, sweet boy!!!!

Happy FOURTH Birthday!

WE LOVE YOU!