Humble Confidence

Micah's good bud from Minnesota recently sent him a Lego Ninjago book in the mail with a cute note.

I decided Micah should write him a thank you, and I figured it would be a perfect time to do a letter-writing review.  Little did I know that this would turn into a three day, hours long, four-draft process.  Oh, but it did.

The first attempt was a handful of words.  I suggested he add some more.

The second attempt went like this...
Dear H,
Thank you for the book.
I like it.
I am doing second grade math and read at third to fourth grade reading level.
From,
Micah

Soooo...I had a small discussion with Micah about the fact that although I know (and truly believe) that he has no intention of bragging (about his academic standings), it could be perceived as bragging.  And I decided that this would be a good moment to teach my son about how to be a good friend and not brag to our friends and that they could feel badly, etc.  So I suggested that we start over.  "Think of it as good letter writing practice," I attempted.  Not so effective.  My six-year old was M.A.D.  He threw the note in the garbage and had some snarky remarks for me in his frustration.  He was quite distracted for awhile with the next attempt, and when I finally saw him immersed in his writing, I was thrilled!

And then he brought me this...

 

Completely speechless, I found an excuse for him to go in the other room for a minute so I could quickly dial my husband and say, "What do I DO?  This has already taken so much time??  Do we just send it?  Do I push the issue more??"  My wise hubby said to just leave it be, as long as Micah was sure that's what he wanted to say to his buddy.

Well, what do you know??  A few hours later at bedtime, after the negative emotions had been replaced with a fun dinner together, some snuggling and book reading, and a more calm spirit, Micah said to me, "Could I write a new letter to H tomorrow?  That one is kinda weird..."  I laughed and agreed with him and inwardly celebrated this little victory of him coming to his own conclusion without my prompting.  And the final letter was written with a good attitude today...

As minor of a situation as this may seem, it was a big deal to me.  It raised the question I have frequently asked myself, how do I teach my son to be confident, yet humble, at the same time?

I have thought about this many times before.  I want my children to think they are the best thing since sliced bread.  I want them to know how incredibly gifted and talented and brilliant they each are.  I want them to know that I am their biggest fan.  And I want them to have a healthy, strong sense of identity and self worth in Christ.  So how do I both build them up and affirm all of their brilliance and giftings without them becoming arrogant?

Is it just in the modeling?  Do we keep guiding them along verbally?  Only through prayer?
This is the question I have yet to answer.

As in most things, I turn to prayer.  I have prayed over my son at night countless nights, "Lord, help Micah to be confident in who he is, but humble, too."  And maybe this is sufficient.  Maybe God's grace will cover this request of mine and maybe discernment will come in the moment on how to train and teach and guide.  But what if there's something more?

What do you think?
Have you figured out how to teach your children a humble confidence?
Do share!