Sophia has an ear infection, even only a couple of weeks post-operative. It's lasted for five days now, so she has been uncomfortable and fussy and feverish, poor thing. Today's only available appointment with the ENT was at 4:45 an hour away. Well, we decided to make the most of it and headed out to the area early so the kids and I could spend a couple of hours at the children's museum first. Zach met us at the appointment, and we found a little hole-in-the-wall pizzeria to eat dinner at before throwing the kids in their jammies and heading home. It's been a long week of a fussy baby, lots of tylenol, runny noses (from all the kids!) and interrupted sleep. The other night, when Sophia's fever first spiked, I felt so defeated. Those voices in my head threatened to draw me into that dark place, "You must be doing something wrong. Why are your children always sick? Why does the staff at the pediatrician know your name? Do you not clean your house enough? Do you not feed your children healthy enough? Do you not pray with enough faith?" And I very temporarily felt discouraged and downcast. But I tell you this to explain that I am thankful, thankful, thankful for God's whispered reminders of truth. For some lessons from Lysa's Unglued. I came to Jesus with my little problems..."Jesus, I am discouraged...help me. Jesus, I am tired...help me. Jesus, I am overwhelmed...help me." And those simple words, those simple prayers, those simple shout-outs for help coupled with a reminder to focus on "...whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable..." (Philippians 4:8) brought my heart right back into perspective. And then I rejoiced. I rejoiced that I am learning, that I am taking baby steps towards imperfect progress. So I am thankful for that today.
I am thankful for a most generous outpouring of provision and love of amazing homeschool materials and curriculum and books from a friend at church. When I first started considering homeschooling, I questioned, "How could we afford the curriculum?" God has provided for us again and again just this year alone! I was so overwhelmed and blessed by the boxes that were loaded into my car and the hours (and years!) of learning and exploring that are ahead of us in these boxes for my children and me!
I am thankful that I always, always, always have a second chance and that tomorrow is always a new day. (I know, I know, you've heard this before, but I continue to be thankful for it...) My exhaustion from having a sick baby and staying up too late to squeeze in some "me time" is leading me to being impatient and snappy with my children. At night, as I kiss their precious sleeping heads and pray for their little hearts and lives before I go to sleep, the kind of mama I want to be rises up fiercely in my mind and heart. And although I often fail to live up to that during the daytime hours, I am thankful that I can keep trudging forward with a vision of who I want to be. And in the meantime, I am humbled that God's grace covers it all. What a freeing and life-giving blessing!
Thankful for other fun things in our life, like my in-laws visiting, a trip to the zoo, a night out with my best friend/sister-in-law and brother, a fun party for my nephews, a date out with my oldest son, the library with our dear friends, family over for a barbeque, my sister-in-law getting engaged, and a new show to enjoy when all the chores are done at night.
This is a good, good life.
What are you thankful for today?
