The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I always tell myself (and others) that I love being a stay-at-home mom.

I love children...I love being at home...I am called to this...I am thrilled with my place in the world.

But this afternoon, as I disciplined a tantruming son, mopped up a toddler's potty accident from the floor, and hung half my body over the side of my fussy, non-sleeping baby's crib trying to help her get to sleep, I asked myself why my heart was so grumpy.

"Don't I love being a mama?"  I ask myself.  "What is my problem then?"

And then it hits me...a convicting question to both my mind and my soul...Do I only love being a stay-at-home mom when all is going smoothly?  When my children are giggling, when they are happily painting, when I am calmly stirring soup for dinner, when the baby says "mama" for the first time, when my children play kindly together?

Am I a fair-weathered fan?

Because today, as my baby is refusing to nap, and as my two-year old is newly potty training, and as my six-year-old-son throws mean, hurtful words at me, my patience is growing thin and my spirits are growing heavier.

I do not want to just love being a mom when all is well.

I do not want to only be thankful when my children are obedient and the toys are picked up.

I do not want to only smile when my baby is napping and my two-year-old goes potty on the toilet.

I want to live and breathe and mother in contentment and joy and gratitude...when my son is saying, "I love you," and when he is yelling, "I will NOT be snuggling with you the rest of the day!"

I want to be ready for the challenge that is mothering...the good, the bad, and the ugly, and I want to rejoice and be glad in each.  For without the hard, the good would not be as sweet.  And without the ugly, it would be impossible to see the beautiful.

Mothering cannot be for fair-weathered fans, for each day is bound to come with a plethora of joys and challenges and laughter and tears.

And I want to be ready for it all.

I want to be REJOICING in it all.

For this IS my calling, this IS my place in the world, and I want to treasure and embrace each and every day.