Happy May!

Some of the best pictures are the unplanned, unposed ones.

Life's spontaneous moments captured with a quick click.

(Note: You can view the pictures larger by clicking on them.)

These are some of my most recent, favorite moments captured on my camera.  I love looking at them and relishing in the joy my children have for life and the love they have for each other.  

Happy May!

Tomorrow is a New Day...

So today I was just not feeling it...
Not feeling the motivation, the happiness, the intentionality that often marks my days.
I was worn out from a busy weekend.
I was behind on my chores.
I was crabby and low on patience.
While I was sitting on the couch nursing, Ella found a granola bar in the pantry and managed to unwrap and eat it one hour before dinner...and I just sat there and let it happen.
It was just. one. of. those. days.
My floors have crumbs on them, my piles of laundry keep growing, and the full counters are evidence of days of activities without breaks to catch up.
The day was full of feedings and diapers and preschool and discipline and toy mess, and therefore, my day ended feeling just as behind as it started.
I managed to have spaghetti and salad on the table for dinner, and as soon as I sat down and looked around, my crabbiness began to melt a bit...listening to all the precious chatter around me, watching Sammy use his fork with such focus, and looking at Ella's spaghetti-stained smile, I started to name my blessings in my heart.
Tonight we went with our small group from church to a worship and prayer hour at a local ministry, and I was so blessed to sit and soak in the truth...that I am loved, that I am His, and that He is GOOD.
All the time.
Even when I am not.
So today, I am thankful for second chances, for a continual refining process, and that tomorrow is a NEW day.

Mother's Day Blessings

This Mother's Day, I have been contemplating my many blessings in the area of mothering.

First of all, I am so incredibly blessed to have an amazing mother.  She and I have always been super close since I was a little girl.  The bond that we share is unlike any other relationship and I treasure it immensely.  She is the kind of mom that seemed to do it all well...making memories, spending time with us, speaking truth into us, laughing, crying, and talking with us, and doing all in her power to let us know that she was crazy about us.  She definitely succeeded.  She is one of the most amazing people I know, and I can only hope to give to my children the kind of childhood she gave to me.

My husband's parents were divorced and remarried when he was a boy, so I have always known both his mom and his stepmom, which gives me two mother-in-laws.  I am so blessed to have great relationships with them both.  They are both so fun and kind and generous and have spoiled us with their love and attention.  They love my children well and love us so well, too.  I appreciate so much the honest, authentic relationships I have with them both.  What a gift.

I am also experiencing Mother's Day not just as a daughter but as a mom, myself.  And I am feeling so blessed to be a mother.  The joy and life and delight that comes from being a mom is indescribable and my journey of motherhood these last six years has been incredible...not easy, but incredible.  A wise woman at church reminds us that God didn't give us marriage to make us happy, but holy.  And when it comes to motherhood, she said that is when we learn to completely die to ourselves.  I have learned so much about myself in being a mother, and I hope that God will use this role of mine to transform me more into his likeness.  Being a mom is my highest calling, and I am honored and privileged to have this most thrilling, demanding, and rewarding job.

I keep hearing this message of not walking the road of motherhood alone, and so I am also beyond blessed to have other mommy friends in which to journey with...both in my best friend, sister, and sister-in-law and in my friends from church and book study and other places...I know that so often, moms can feel isolated and alone, and I am thankful that this is not an experience I have had to have as a mother.  I love getting to share my joys and trials with others going through the same seasons, and I have learned immensely from the mothers around me.

So today, thank you God for my making me a mother and for my mom, my mother-in-laws, and my mommy friends in which I can do life with.

Happy Mother's Day!

My mom, my kiddos, and me at the park today for a Mother's Day picnic together

Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday once again...how quickly the week goes from one Thursday to the next.

After Micah's Race for Education at school this past Friday (in which he proudly ran 14 laps!), we traveled to Minnesota for a family wedding and enjoyed our family time in the car, our stay with my fabulous in-laws, and lots of visits with my kids' grandparents and great-grandparents and aunties.  We got to meet up with some of our dear friends for dinner and also got to have some time for ourselves.  It was lovely.  And now I am back to my normal of preschool and chores and taking care of my kiddos, playdates, small group, errands, and appointments.  So I am happy to once again pause with my children and remember our blessings.

Ella's Thankful List
(I said to Ella, "Thank you, God, for..." and she filled in the blanks...)
-Daddy
-Mommy
-Baby

Sammy's Thankful List
-Lucky Charms (which a friend from church gave us...they had never had them before and they were, of course, a hit)
-Noo-nles (translation: noodles)

Micah's Thankful List
-that Miss Linda gave us food
-that we saw Miss Kim at the park
-that Daddy is coming home today
-that we ate lunch at the park

Today I am thankful that my husband is coming home from a work trip...although I am so thankful he has a great job, I don't love his travel time, and I am so thrilled to have my other half back.  I love being a team together.
I am thankful for a wonderful picnic and playtime at the park with a new friend and her daughters (and a stop on the way for coffee treats!).  I met her at this same park right after Sophia was born, we totally connected right away, and I've had a blast getting together with her ever since!  And she only lives one minute away!  Thankful for new friends.
I am thankful for the gorgeous weather, for the sun shining, and the gentle breeze through our open windows.  I love the spring.
I am thankful for a good novel with a happy ending.
I am thankful for Micah's excitement as he conquered the monkey bars for the first time today at the park.
I am thankful for Sophia's constant smiles.
I am thankful for Sammy's sweet hugs.
And I'm thankful for Ella's sing-song voice.

Oh, how full and wonderful and rich life is!  I want to focus on my blessings today, letting go of the things I cannot control, taking my chores and my moments one at a time, and leaving the rest for another day.
My husband (have I mentioned lately how amazing he is?) keeps reminding me to just focus on the ONE THING that I am doing at that time, and I love how simple, yet profound, this wisdom is to me.  I want to be in the moment, focusing on what is in front of me, enjoying it for what it is.
So for now, I am going to focus on unpacking from our picnic, folding laundry, picking up the house from the morning, and making tacos for dinner.  This is my rhythm, this is my every day, and I want to make it count.

 Oh the joy of being a kid and the thrill of your first time doing the monkey bars!

The Un-doneness of Life

There are dishes in my sink, toys on the floor, crumbs on the table, and laundry waiting to be put away...and yet I sit here at my computer to write while a happy baby kicks around on the couch next to me.

So many things on my mind lately about the life I want to live and the kind of mama I want to be...balance, peace, priorities, perspective...

I have decided that I need to find peace with the "un-doneness" of life.

All of my life, I have struggled with perfectionism...wanting to do everything right, wanting to be perfect in all things.  Well, clearly, this is not a reality, and, in my adult life, I have (mostly) come to terms with this and have worked hard to give myself grace for the areas in which I fall short.

As a mom, this pull towards perfectionism has reared its ugly head more than once.  I have, since day one of my first baby's life, created a giant, mental list of what I think it takes to be an amazing mama.  And although I know that it is physically impossible to do all that I want to do, I have still struggled to be okay with that and to actually let things go.  I want to have meals made from scratch, maintain a clean, organized home, have obedient, happy children, give creative, homemade gifts, bake fresh goodies, read many books on many topics, be an active part of our local church, see my family regularly, have special record-keeping books for my children, have updated photographs in frames, get together with friends and neighbors, travel to see family...and the list goes on and on and on.  I sometimes feel the weight of all that I want to do and all that is left undone.

Before I had my fourth baby, I felt like I was pretty on top of things...my hubby and I set lots of time aside to do house projects and organizing in preparation for a new person entering our already-cozy home.  But two months into having four children, I am learning that more often than not, I am getting to the end of the day wondering what I got done...and I am also starting to learn to embrace this as my new "normal."  My days are full and busy of dishes and diapers and laundry and meals...feedings and naps and phone calls and preschool.  So my "to-do" list in life has gone undone day after day after day lately...

Recently, I had this epiphany moment that this is probably going to be the case for years to come and that I better learn to come to peace with the un-doneness that is my new normal.  There are pictures waiting to go into frames, paperwork stacked for sifting through, ceilings that need painting, flower beds that need weeding, baby books that need updating, clothes that need sorting, boxes that need emptying.  But our days are so full with the day-to-day of living that the "extras" often have to wait.  This is not an easy thing for me...In my ideal world, I would be on top of life and my tasks every. single. day.  But is this even a reality?  The answer is a resounding NO.

So while my list goes unfinished and my projects go undone, I am striving for peace with my new normal.  I am committing to embrace the precious moments I have eating lunch with my children, smiling at my newborn as I change her diaper, counting to ten with my daughter as we put her shoes on, memorizing Scripture with my son as I drive him to school, and having dance parties to our favorite worship songs in the middle of the kitchen.

The dishes?
They always seem to get done.
The laundry?
It always will be there.
The projects?
They can wait.
My children?
They are growing quickly, developing into their beautiful selves more each day.
And I do NOT want to miss it running around stressed that I am not accomplishing all I want to.
I will embrace the un-done projects and the imperfect, messy, joyful life that is mine.
My floor will be sticky and I won't care.
My frames will be outdated, but, oh well.
My pantry will be disorganized, but we are well-fed.
The paperwork stack will grow, but we'll get around to it.
I want to end each day knowing that I loved well, chose gratitude, and lived with peace.
I want to seek what God has for me in each day, listening for His promptings and leadings of how to use my time and energy.
And I want to rejoice always because life...is...good.
Will you join me in choosing peace in the un-doneness of life?
It's bound to be a thrilling ride.

Thankful Thursday

I have been thankful that today is Thursday because it is encouraging me to notice the blessings around me and to be be grateful.  It has been a long, tiring week or two, and I am feeling weary.  My days have not been as joy-filled or as smooth as I would want them to be, and I am running on fumes after many, many nights in a row of plans...
Life is so good and so full, but I am tired and starting to notice a shift in my attitude and capacity this past week.  So sitting down to contemplate my blessings is exactly what I needed today.

I am so thankful for Sophia...she has truly been my "happy place" this week.  As soon as I scoop up my precious bundle, my heart softens and I just melt with love for her.  She is so sweet and content and smiles at people with such adoration.  I could hold her forever.  LOVING the baby stage.
I am thankful for my husband...who helps me with chores at night, who lets me cry and vent when life gets overwhelming and listens to my rambling thoughts, who stays on the phone with me for 11 minutes for moral support while trying to kill a bee in our house, who stops at the store to pick up something we need or to get a good deal, who walks in the door saying, "How can I help?", and who is one-hundred percent attentive to our children when he is home.  He is truly out-of-this world.
I am thankful for the anticipation of a trip to Minnesota for a family wedding...thankful for my amazing in-laws who excitedly await our arrival.
I am thankful for our patio and our little backyard...a perfect place where we love to enjoy meals together as a family as often as possible (and I love the added bonus of not having to sweep the floor inside, too).  Today was one of those days where the kids and I ate lunch AND dinner outside and soaked up the sun.
I am thankful for little girl summer dresses.
I am thankful for raspberry lemonade.
And I am thankful for a dirty bath at the end of the day which signifies to me a day well-played and well-spent for my children.

Micah's Thankful List
-that we get to eat outside for lunch for the first time
-that we are going to Minnesota tomorrow
-that right now we're doing this
-that my Race for Education is tomorrow
-that Mommy killed the bee
-that the bee didn't sting Mommy

Sammy was napping today when Micah listed for me his blessings, but I will say that he told four random and unrelated people at Target yesterday that we were going to Minnesota to see Grandma and Grandpa in two days...So I am translating that he is thankful for this event coming up.

Thank you, God, for the joy that comes from a grateful heart.  May this bubble up in me regularly and in the hearts of my children.

(Our lunch in the backyard today...gotta love the sunglasses.)

Exposed

Today I had one of those mortifying-mom-moments...I'm sure we have all had one or two, but they still manage to catch us by surprise, yes?

My kids and I were enjoying a lovely lunch outside on this gorgeous, sunny, eighty-degree day.  We had all eaten our favorite noodles, broccoli, and grapes lunch and the kids were running around and playing in our little yard.  Seemed like a perfect time to nurse Sophia, right?  At only two months old, she needs to nurse often enough that I am always trying to work feedings into our day/meals/naps/playtime, etc.  So when she fussed, I took a chair to sit under our tree and nurse.  Our yard is tucked a bit away from the to-and-fro of neighbors, so I felt comfortable enough sitting and nursing without a cover...

Well, my peaceful moment was swiftly interrupted as Ella (our one-year-old bundle of both joy and crazy) decided to follow a ball over the top of the hill that unofficially marks the back of our yard and head toward the street.  The second she left my sight, I knew I had to go on a chase...  So I quickly set Sophia down in the grass and started to run towards my Ella.

At the EXACT moment I noticed a pick-up truck heading down the street, I also noticed that something was not right on my body...Yes, you guessed it...there was a certain, female body part (hint: the one used to feed a baby) completely exposed to the world, not in its proper place under my tank.  I grabbed my shirt, grabbed my daughter, and high-tailed it back to the safety of my little spot under the tree where I hoped that the man driving that truck will promptly forget that anything out-of-the-ordinary ever happened...

Oh the moments we have as mothers...Never a dull moment.