Stopping the Sorrys

I have realized lately how many times I am tempted to apologize for myself...

I'm sorry I'm late.

Sorry I don't have make-up on today!

Sorry my hair is wet.

Sorry my laundry is sitting out.

Sorry my house is not clean...(or that I haven't mopped or that my shelves are dusty, etc., etc.)

Sorry that my baby is crying.

Sorry that my toddler is fussy.

Sorry that my daughter is mischievous.

Sorry...

Sorry...

Sorry...

And I realized that I want to stop.  I want to stop apologizing for the reality of my life.  I want to let others in to who I am - authentically - and stop feeling the need to live up to some ideal that I tell myself is the unspoken "right" way created by the unidentified "they."

Because the reality is that I am busy.  And have chosen to have a full summer of fun activities.  And have a baby...who nurses...and likes to be held...a LOT...and an almost-two year old who draws with markers on the wall, squirts sunscreen out on my couch, and smears a poopie diaper all.  through.  the.  house...(not joking...it was slightly nightmare-ish).  SO, the truth is that  most days I throw my wet hair in a pony and slap some lipstick on as I am driving.  I don't remember the last time I dusted and my floors could really use a good mopping.  We are often running late and my kids are kids!  Loud, happy, imperfect kids.  That is my life, and I want to stop apologizing for it.  I want to live up to my value of relationships trumping tasks and choose, as I did this morning, to host a huge playdate (after our pool party plans were canceled due to the rain) even though I knew my house was not "company ready."  I chose to have people over, even though my house wasn't super clean and I had piles in my room for vacation, a birthday party, clean laundry, etc.  And, oh how blessed I was to have mama friends over, laughing at the kids' cute interactions, eating tacos and enjoying each other's company.  I am so glad I chose to ignore the dirt and dust, throw my pride out the window, and embrace an authentic spirit with my friends.

I want to be me and let others into the happy chaos that is my life.

And I want to stop apologizing along the way.