Chaos and Peace

This morning, as I attempted to eat a bagel, feed a baby some bananas, clean chewed-up apple peels off the couch, wipe a runny nose, make a second waffle for a son, send out an email to our small group coming tonight, look at the maze my other son created, and stop a two-year old from throwing Cheerios on the floor, I felt daunted to face my day.

There are so many moving parts in my home and in my life every single day.  And sometimes, I get overwhelmed.

Don't get me wrong...I love being a mom.  I have wanted to be a mom ever since I was a little girl, and there are times when I realize that I am living out my childhood dreams.  Deep down, I am happy.  I am content.  I love my life.

But there are moments, or days, when life...the day to day...just feels hard.

Kids wake up at 4:30 in the morning rearing to go, and your baby wakes up with yet another cold, which makes probably the fifth cold in a row, back to back.  The laundry never ever stops, and your three year old wakes up in a wet bed.  Your two year old decides it would be a good idea to get out her own fruit snacks and an adult-sized pair of scissors to open them with before 7 in the morning.  She never stops moving...she is a true moving tornado...and her messes are endless.  Your day's agenda includes dishes, laundry, getting the house in good shape for company tonight, and, of course, homeschooling, and your hubby is coming home late tonight.  Add in changing the bedding and holding a sick baby and doing some painting with your kiddos (we try to do crafts on Wednesdays), and sometimes the day just feels too big for one mama.

So then there is the moment where your little girl, your little crazy, is sitting still for two minutes on the potty chair.  We sit close together, me looking into her big, round eyes, and I just stop. and breathe.  We have a little, sweet chat about potty training and eating marshmallows, and then my oldest son, my little intellect, comes and sits on the bathroom floor with us, looking up the Bible verses that go with today's morning devotional.  And he reads, "Since we live by the Spirit, keep in step with the Spirit." (Galations 5:25)  And then I remember a verse from the retreat I attended last weekend, "...the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace." (Romans 8:6)  Wow.  What a powerful reminder for my day that is already feeling too big for me at 8 in the morning.

So today, although the table is still strewn with dirty breakfast dishes, the laundry is calling my name, the coats and shoes have all been made into a pile on the living room floor, my toddlers are arguing, and my baby was eating paper she pulled into her crib when I went to get her up from her nap, I will stop.  And take a breath.  And be thankful (always my answer to everything, thanks to Ann Voskamp).  And I will make every attempt to keep in step with the Spirit.  Because today, and every day, I desire life and peace.