Taking Care of YOU

I had a request from a lovely mama for a blog post on how to take care of and do things for YOURSELF as a mom.

I am obviously no expert on mothering (or on self-care), but in the six years I've been a mom, I've been thankful for some great outlets and breaks for myself.

Here goes...

1.  Join a play group.  When Micah was a baby, I ended up in a playgroup with several others moms.  We all had a baby around the same age, and we met regularly at parks and houses with our babes.  Although we have all since had more babies and playgroup has dissolved because of school schedules and location, etc., some of these moms have remained my closest friends.  It was such a fun treat in my week to get together with them.

2.  Do a Mommy Night Out.  With these same moms, we put one night a month on the calendar to go out after dinner and the kids' bedtimes to get a drink or dessert.  We would talk and laugh for hours, and this always refueled me in a unique way.  Gather a group of moms (or just other ladies!) and plan a night out.  Go get coffee.  Drink a glass of wine.  Eat some chocolate cake.  Go to Chilis and get a margarita and chips and salsa (one of my personal favorites!).  Take a break and just ENJOY!

3.  Go on a retreat.  About once a year, I have tried to get away for an overnight (or a weekend) with other women for a retreat.  Our church does an annual retreat that I have been blessed to attend.  And Hearts at Home has a regular conference for moms (a few times a year in a few different cities) in which you can attend workshops and sessions and be encouraged and equipped in your incredible profession of motherhood.  Each time I have left my family for a retreat or a conference, I have come back completely inspired to be a better wife and mama.  Don't feel guilty for leaving your family...they will be blessed by you going and taking a break for yourself!!!

4.  Date your husband.  My hubby and I have always believed so much in continuing to "date" after marriage that we give a date night set of gift cards for almost every wedding gift we give.  Although we "dated" more before having kids, we still make a strong effort to go out once a month for a date...just the two of us (and an "at home date" once a week).  Not only do I believe this is crucial and life-giving to your marriage, it is also a wonderful break for YOU!  Sitting at a quiet dinner or sipping a fancy coffee or enjoying a movie at the theater is a great time to relax and enjoy some "you" time!

5.  Tell your hubby what you need.  One line I've heard my mom say that she learned at a class once is, "You don't have a glass head."  In other words...your spouse cannot magically know what you need when you need it.  We cannot "see" each other's thoughts.  Give him (or her) the benefit of the doubt by telling him when you need a break.  Sometimes I think we wait and wait for our spouses to figure out what we need only to be more frustrated that they don't know.  So tell him.  Tell him you need an hour for a nap.  Tell him you need to get groceries by yourself.  Ask him if you can schedule in a morning to go do errands solo or to meet a friend for coffee.  It will do you (and your marriage!) wonders.  Don't be a martyr.  Take a break when you need it.

6.  Take little breaks.  Sometimes we just need a break in the midst of our day to day.  Make a cup of tea. Take a nap when your babies are napping.  Call a girlfriend.  Read a novel for a few minutes before doing the dishes.  Just stop here and there and breathe.  The work will always be there.  And eventually, it will get done. :-)

7.  Say good-bye to the GUILT.  For some reason, we, as moms, have told ourselves that it is better and more honorable to work and work and work and never stop to take care of ourselves.  Believe me, I have learned this the hard way on a number of occasions.  It's like the common flight attendant speech on an airplane...if you need the oxygen masks, put the mask on YOURSELF before putting masks on your children.  Although I will admit that my initial instinct is to say, "Yeah RIGHT!", I understand the point.  It is almost impossible to effectively take care of others if you have nothing to give.  Don't feel guilty taking care of yourself.  Doing things for YOU is a gift to your family.  You will be more prepared and better equipped to be the mama and the wife you want to be if you stop and do some self-care here and there.

Hope this helps!  I'm obviously still in the thick of learning how to take care of myself, but these are things I have found to be so helpful for me!  Here's hoping we can all take care of ourselves through this busy season of Christmas so we can enjoy the precious moments along the way.

Happy Wednesday!