I have always considered myself to be a pretty content person. I love life. I love people. And I, thankfully, tend to be a "glass-half-full" kind of person.
But after reading a chapter on contentment from the book Living With Less so your Family Has More, by Mark and Jill Savage, I have been challenged to examine my heart and to increase the contentment in my life.
Although I love my family, my home, my role as a stay-at-home mama, and the relationships in my life, I have, at times, let envy and comparison rear its ugly head in my life. I will confess that I have gone to a friend's house for a playdate, only to think in my head that their home is so much bigger and nicer than mine. Or I have noticed other moms around me looking and dressing way cuter than I feel, or losing their baby weight way faster than me. I have seen the ways in which other moms seem so calm in their discipline, never seeming to lose their cool, and I have noticed if their husband's jobs don't require them to travel or have a less demanding schedule. I sometimes see others having more financial freedom than us...and I don't want to notice.
The list could go on...there are so many different areas in which we can compare to others...finances, houses, children's behavior or successes, relationships, marriages, successes, appearances, etc., etc., etc....
But I don't want to notice.
I don't want to compare.
And I don't want to be jealous.
I want to have contentment rule my head and my heart, thankful for the gifts God has given ME and the journey God has put ME on. Somedays, I find myself in a good rhythm, content for the 800 square feet that the six of us share in our cozy townhome, thankful for a simpler life with less money and technology and options. And then others, I falter a bit more. I am lured by the world's thinking that more money and more space make life easier. And I wonder when it will be our turn for a break? For a higher paying job for my husband or a bigger home? But I continuously come back to the truth that "more" does not equal happy or full or easier. And that my children are loved and safe and have amazing opportunities, even though they wear hand-me-down clothes, play in a tiny yard, and don't get grand vacations (although my oldest is currently in Florida with his grandparents...ha!).
Our lives are so good and full and rich and I want to focus on this. We have intentionally chosen that it is our priority for me to be home with our children, and my husband has tried to pursue jobs within his areas of interest and giftedness. So with Zach working for a non-profit and me at home with our little ones, we have had to choose relationships over money. And this is what we want.
In Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, one of the BEST books I have ever read, she challenges the reader to live a life of thanks. One that gives thanks in both the everyday moments and the "ugly beautiful" moments where it is harder to notice the gifts. I have often kept blessing journals throughout my life and love living in a "seize the moment" type of way, but after reading this book, I have been completely revived in my desire to constantly, constantly give thanks for the gifts around me, noticing them, naming them, and praising God for the beauty that is in life. For when I ask myself what it really looks like to be a content person, I have learned that it is truly in living a life of gratefulness.
So I am choosing to say "NO" to the comparison and the sin of envy. Everyone has his or her own story, own journey, and own calling. And in saying "YES" to that specific calling, it will indeed look different for each of us. As a wise counselor once said, "When you compare, no one wins."
My goal is to continue to run hard after contentment, to thank God for the things he has blessed us with, and to choose to look at what really and truly matters in life, which is clearly not stuff. And I will continue to challenge myself to always be counting my gifts and my blessings, in both the easy and hard stages of life, for I believe this is where true contentment lies.
"...I was lost, but now I am found again, Jesus, and I know what I want: to see deeply, to thank deeply, to feel joy deeply. How my eyes see, perspective, is my key to enter into His gates. I can only do so with thanksgiving. If my inner eye has God seeping up through all things, then can't I give thanks for anything? And if I can give thanks for the good things, the hard things, the absolute everything, I can enter the gates to glory. Living in his presence is fullness of joy--and seeing shows the way in. The art of deep seeing makes gratitude possible.
And it is the art of gratitude that makes joy possible."
And it is the art of gratitude that makes joy possible."
- Ann Voskamp
One Thousand Gifts
Wow! Beautifully put! I couldn't have said better what I long for as well. Thank you for sharing, Sarah!
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